Overcoming Barriers to Seeking Help: 5 Reasons People Don't Reach Out and How to Change That
At Churches Care, we talk a lot about the importance of connection—whether it’s the benefits of being connected or how we’re combating social isolation. While all of that is real and valid, we don’t want to preach the importance of being connected without acknowledging the difficulty and scariness of actually getting there in the first place. Because we get it. It can be incredibly scary and difficult to open up about something going on in your life.
That’s why we want to uncover 5 different reasons people don’t reach out for help, and what we can do about each. While this list is not exhaustive, we hope you can learn something new or find encouragement for yourself. If reaching out is hard for you, you’re not the only one. There’s hope for you!
Reason #1 - "I'm Afraid of the Stigma"
In today’s world, while progress has been made, there is unfortunately still a lot of stigma surrounding getting help. Things such as myths around mental health, shame or disgrace in a religious community, or stereotypes like “men need to be ‘tough’ and can’t ask for help” all make reaching out even more difficult than it already is.
As much as we wish we could, we unfortunately cannot make stigmas and stereotypes disappear. However, we can do our part in breaking stigmas and stereotypes (yes, men can and should reach out for help!), and reminding everyone that it’s okay to not be okay, to struggle in life. We also create safe spaces for people like you to open up and find the support they both need and deserve. Lastly, we do our best to break any religious or Christian stigmas there may be by partnering with people at local churches who believe you, believe in you, and want to talk with and support you.
Remember, stigmas say more about other people than yourself, and you can break outside of the stereotypes people put on you. It won’t be easy, but the more you practice pushing yourself, the better you will become at reaching out.
Reason #2 - "I'm Scared to Ask for Help"
As we mentioned at the beginning, we know how flat out terrifying it can be to reach out for help. Reason being, help often means we have to open up and be vulnerable—which is scary and causes our brains to tell us not to do it so that we can avoid any potential pain. Maybe you’re scared you’ll be judged for what you’re going through or maybe you can’t fathom letting someone into the darkest part of your life because what if they let you down?
Whatever the reason you’re scared is, just know it’s completely normal to feel that way. We wish we could make opening up and reaching out less scary for you. We really do. But the truth is, it’s probably always going to be at least a little bit scary. But by connecting you with someone who truly cares about and wants to be there for you as you walk through difficulties, it can hopefully become easier to reach out.
You can open up to these safe people, knowing that you will be heard, valued, and seen—all without fear of judgment. Don’t let fear control you and keep you from getting the help you need and deserve. It will take courage, but there is no courage without fear. We believe in you!
Reason #3 - "I Don't Know How or Where to Go"
Maybe you know you need to reach out and open up to someone…but you don’t know where to start or even who you can turn to. Maybe you don’t have anyone in your life you can trust or you’re just unsure how to take that first step. We get it. It’s not always easy to know who to open up to, how to start the conversation, or where to go for help.
It’s important to open up to someone caring who you can trust and who is able to be there for you in your situation—whether that’s a friend, family member, mentor, mental health professional, partner, etc. If you don’t have that person in your life, or want someone to guide you through opening up to others, we can get you connected with someone to help. We also help you take that first step by initiating the connection to make it easy and simple for you to connect with others. In other words, we take the pressure and responsibility off of you.
When you’re starting the conversation to open up about your struggles to someone, remember, you can trust them to love and care for you regardless of what you’re going through. Imagine how you would react to them sharing the same info to you, and trust they will respond similarly. And if you’re looking for a mental health professional, we have some tips and resources to help. You are never alone!
Reason #4 - "I Can Do This On My Own"
In today’s world, it’s easy to think we can handle our struggles and hardships on our own—we don’t need anyone else. Maybe it’s a stereotype that tells you you have to do everything on your own or maybe people have hurt you in the past so you think you're better off by yourself. Whatever the reason is, if you don’t think you need anyone’s help, of course you’re not going to reach out.
While we are not doubting how strong or capable you are, we also know being strong by yourself for a while can be really exhausting. And I know from my personal experience that regardless of how strong I was, there have been many situations that I simply could not handle on my own. Opening up to others immensely helped me deal with whatever I was going through.
And, even if you really can handle it on your own, you still don’t have to. We connect you with someone who can help lighten the load and share your burden. That way you have the strength to keep fighting and pushing through. You’re never alone.
Reason #5 - "I'm Too Far Gone"
Unfortunately, when we go through a really difficult situation, especially for a long time, it’s easy to believe nothing will get better, no matter what you do. You might think “what’s the point of reaching out if it won’t help?”. Hopelessness is real, and such a dark fortress to be trapped in.
But we believe there is hope, even amongst the darkest nights and seemingly never-ending struggles. Hope to heal, to manage, to live, to find the support you need. And we believe that there are good people in this world who truly want to help and be there for you. We see it everyday.
This isn’t to negate what you’re feeling or going through because as we’ve said before, hopelessness is so real and so difficult. But, we hold and see the difficulty you’re going through alongside believing in the hope that is coming.
Brighter days are coming, and yet, moments of joy can still be found even if the situation never changes and the darkness remains.
Wrapping Up
At Churches Care, we understand the challenges and fears that come with reaching out for help. We recognize the stigma and stereotypes, the fear of vulnerability, the uncertainty of where to turn, the belief that one can handle everything alone, and the overwhelming sense of hopelessness. However, we are here to support and empower individuals like yourself to overcome these barriers.
Through our efforts, we strive to break stigmas and create safe spaces, connect individuals with compassionate and non-judgmental supporters, remind you that you are never alone, and offer hope even in the darkest moments. Together, we can lighten the load, find strength in connection, and discover brighter days are possible.
Remember, there is hope for you, and we are here to walk alongside you on your journey.
